Monday, July 9, 2007

violent femmes (and butches) are coming for your heterosexuality

and they recruit!

i saw this one on truthdig not too long ago, and since then it's been
and blogged again. but seeing as the whole point of blogging is getting the word out, here it is once more, if you have not yet had the pleasure.

over to you, papabear:

(disclaimer to laurel, if you're reading this: take a deep breath)

other people would have taken the bait and perhaps reported instead on the scooter libby verdict and his recent oval office-issued get-out-of-jail-free card. but no, leave it to bill o'reilly to reach for the hopelessly obscure, totally unverified, half-speculated 'story' that seems more like a monty python skit than 'investigative journalism.' that's how much he hates/fears lesbians.

how much? so much that he and his detective friend go to the extent of fabricating stories about violent lesbos raping young girls (i was waiting for him to reveal that they were virgins on their way to bible school to pray for unborn babies' souls) and generally wreaking havoc upon the law-abiding tax-payer.

somewhere, adrienne rich is wondering if she didn't dream up that 'story' on a bad acid trip. she's the poet/theorist who put so elegantly the way that lady-kissing-ladies undermine patriarchy - when women have sexual and emotional access to each other, they fuck w/ the male order and we all win, seriously. but why be so subtle? why not just take to the streets with a pack of hairy dykes in search of unsuspecting young men so you can kick them in the crotch directly?

as jeff hoard (enlightened straight guy) reveals, unable to find actual footage of lesbian street gangs in the midst of said crotch-attack, the fox network just slapped on some youtube footage of a "random chick fight," wherein the dialogue reveals the two young women to be fighting over a man. once again, to break this down: in a quest for sensationalist footage with which to dupe the american public into fearing for the heterosexuality of their children, fox news aired footage of teen girls fighting over a guy. allow a moment for the irony to sink in.

again, adrienne rich, grabbing her head. taking another bong hit... you deserve it, adrienne.

to most of us (that is, not entirely stoopid people) this story seems way too much like something out of a russ meyer movie to be believed (i know i almost cried laughing the first time). and yet it's been asked, legitimately, whether or not the average viewer can be persuaded that a 'story' like this is true. i'm going to say yes, mainly b/c this is the kind of dinner-conversation o'reilly viewers have:

kid: hey mama, did you see that story on papabear's show about them street gang heathen bitches? do you think it's true?
mumu lady*: sure do! i sawr it on the television!

*please note that i have nothing against mumus and actually think they're way comfy and breezy.

tata for now!

ps/ yes, the whole 'pink pistol' thing is a rather convenient coincidence....

1 comment:

sarah said...

i claim to fight w/ a dictionary, but there was one doozy of a spelling error in that post. *self-slap w/ a webster's*